When I woke up the morning after the priestess annointment I received from a most gorgeous friend, I felt a little shaky. Where am I in my life? Am I really doing the right thing?! Have I lost my way?
As we stepped into the session, we talked about how I had “let go” of my professional life as a chiropractor, as she was about to do the same with her practice as a licensed psychotherapist. We both felt a calling for something else, something that our souls were longing for us to express and deliver in this lifetime, and knowing all that we have done to this point was necessary groundwork to take such a leap of faith.
But we worked so hard for our professional degrees, the status and the licensing! To follow a unknown path being slowly laid out by some invisible force, really?! It sounds so crazy, even as I hear the voice in my head while I write.
Changes like this are downright scary and not particularly easy. The inner voices of the self critic can be debilitating, and compounded big time by the voices of others fears and opinions that resonate inside, even when no words are spoken.
Letting go seems to be the biggest theme of my personal experience these last few years: a family home, a career, perceived security, relationships, a stream of hopes and dreams, things, lots of physical things, clothes, furniture, family heirlooms and lot of expectations for a certain kind of life…
All of this disintegration was happening while facing the uncertainty of never truly knowing the next steps beyond the voice of Spirit that continues to whisper the affirmation: keep going, you are on the right path.
On some level, I know the voice to be true, as I witness magical doors flying open time and time again. And it feels so enlivening!
Painful? Yes. Trying? For sure. Uncertainties? Beyond counting.
There are days where I am embroiled in a wrestling match that tugs and pulls between the soul vision and the prescribed template for living: so trying when the vision lacks form and familiarity. There’s just this voice, a voice that requires space for cultivation - a space that demands time for reflection, meditation and nature immersion that is not so easy to claim with the daily demands of survival in the modern world.
Stepping out of a prescribed template when society has provided for us a path of relative success and a container to which the culture can relate takes courage - courage that borders at times on feelings of complete insanity.
What is insanity anyway? Folly, mental illness, lunacy. It seems to me there is another definition that fits in cases like these, one that couches insanity as “out of ones’ mind.”
Stepping out of the confines of cultural norms is such an act. It is a way of moving from spiritual guidance, shifting the dominant mode of operating from being driven by the mind to one led by soul vision and union with the divine.
“When we say “Yes!” to our hearts and souls, the universe responds… the world becomes magic,” as my friend, Nadine Keller wrote. “It’s as if walking into the world of Harry Potter, and signs are everywhere, colors and magical glitters of stardust clues gently dropped along our way, leading to our destination.”
This kind of magic only seems to arise when we have the courage to let go of safety, to let go of whatever it takes to unplug from the life that no longer fits the prayer for change. And once that prayer is put into motion, things happen to bring alignment with the new path. This is not always fun or easy or comfortable, yet there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, one founded in connection, with truth, and an inner sense of freedom.
A life path enveloped with structure and order provides a sense of comfort, and it is needed when we are delivering something tangible in the world. Yet, when the winds of change come blowing through, we must let go of all of that in order to create a new and better version of ourselves.
Learning to surrender with grace is a powerful way to be carried to the next level of claiming the creative life that calls from above. This surrender is an art that requires a deep trust in the divine, in magic, in life itself. With this comes profound liberation and unexpected gifts that simply arrive, right on time!
I can’t say I know “why” all of this calls to many of us modern women. To support a larger collective awakening, so it seems. What I know as I continue to surrender, is that as I do, I feel myself moving closer to the keys to the kingdom I have always craved.